We're obviously on the same plane, I saw the pictures of ur wedding, ur actually a good man really, just got a bit fucked up along the way.
My Son is 17 now, going on 35, I resisted all of the drugs available that would go into my veins, buried a lot of freinds along the way, always seemd to be the the one that got everybody out of the shit, whether talking my way out of being banged up or whatever.
My problem is basically the same as you had, I used everything, but refused to mainline, ended up with alcohol and good weed, after trying everything else, I now have a beautifull woman, an intelligent son who's now 17.
I feel like I know you, feel free to tell me to fuck off, but we seem to have a bond, did you ever know a guy called Chris Pollock, used to ride a bike and do Bhangi in Kampala, when I was slightly too you young?
I attach a song for you...hope you like reggae and dub?