Addict (drugaddict) wrote,

Musings by Ed Peck

  *Look, it's not really all that hard.  If we are really serious
   about having Al Maliki, the Prime Minister of a democratically
   elected Unity government, carry out his responsibilities, especially
   the ones we have publicly assigned him, let's give the guy a chance
   to demonstrate his problem-solving skills in an environment with
   challeges that are not only far less difficult but also far less
   dangerous to our interests.  Oh . . . yeah, and his too.*
   *What I propose is just a quick test, with visible benefits for all
   parties, that lets him show his stuff.  Let's bring him over here,
   and turn him loose to: a) stamp out inner-city crime; b) settle the
   abortion issue to the complete satisfaction of all parties; c) win
   the war on drugs; d) end illegal immigration; e) eliminate
   corruption.  Once those tasks are taken care of, and armed with the
   admiration and gratitude of the American people, plus the solid,
   no-longer tentative support of the current Administration, he can go
   home to Iraq - and fix it.*  (NB. On the advice of the legal
   department, we announce that our Rule is no longer applicable in
   Iraq.  The Pottery Barn, Inc.)
   *Once back, with the augmented - no, wait, escalated . . . no, no .
   . . . OK, got it, *
   */surged/ **military presence required to insure that absolutely
   everyone, everywhere, understands that he is fully, totally, and
   completely in charge of every single aspect of goverance, the Prime
   Minister can address himself to resolving /his /country's issues.  *
   *We all know what he needs to do, and quickly: a) rebuild a totally
   destroyed infrastructure and the shattered economy it used to
   support; b) institute something resembling a universally accepted,
   multi-ethnic, multi-religious, cohesive and fully
   functional government; c) end sectarian violence; d) create large
   and effective police and military forces; e) institute total
   stability and security; f) induce forgiveness and, as necessary,
   memory loss in those who have suffered the most; and g) secure the
   blessings of liberty to himself and his posterity.  Not necessarily
   in that order.*
   *I estimate he will need a minimum of, say, eight to ten weeks,
   after which the entire secure and stable nation (Militias, Turkmen,
   Shia, Contractors, Sunni, Jews, Kurds, Yazidis, Saabeans,
   Christians, Collaborators) will be sitting around multiple
   campfires, democratic to the core, drinking steaming mugs of cocoa,
   singing Kumbaya and waving as our forces ride off into the sunset.  *
   *Won't that be swell?  Won't the world admire us, and respect all
   that we have accomplished?  And won't the Iraqi survivors love us?*
   *However, and it is certainly seems entirely possible that those in
   leadership positions in this country may already have given a great
   deal of thought to this, we will clearly have someone else to blame
   when it doesn't work, despite all the help and support we have given
   Al Maliki * *What a loser, and it is all, _all_ his fault.*
   *What have we done, and are not yet finished doing, to ourselves, to
   Iraqis, and to our regional as well as global interests?  A
   catastrophe while we stay; a different catastrophe when we leave.
   And I sincerely hope I am all wrong.*
   Ed Peck

   (Please excuse this effort to employ weak humor to underline the
   arrogant stupidity of what we are asking of a man in minimal charge
   of a broken non-country.  When our CNI delegation (

   met with Syrian President Bashar Al Assad last January, after
   observing the Palestinian elections in Gaza, he told us
   that American officials always demand that he stop, right
   now!, people crossing the border into Iraq.  He said he replies by
   asking for the Border Patrol to come over and explain how they did
   it with Mexico, so he can apply the same successful approach.  Heavy
   silence follows, as it should.)
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