Addict (drugaddict) wrote,
Addict
drugaddict

Things you have to believe in order to be a Republican today......

Things you have to believe in order to be a Republican today......


Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush, Sr.
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a
bad
guy when "W" needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but
trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,
then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and
insurance
companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable
offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in
which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're
a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our
prayers for your recovery.

Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born,
who will be born or who might be born( in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for
wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other
people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and
'08.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican
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